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Weekly Update – Mon 30 April 2018

It was hitchhiker’s guide to Norwich on Saturday evening as all sorts of lifts were being arranged at the last minute to get the SERL team to the church on time to play their final away match to Ice. Kiss FM was being inflicted in the Keiramobile, whilst Ross had a Proclaimers party in his Tartan Taxi. Diana was bemused by these cultural idiosyncracies and kept her bike on standby should either music selection not be to her liking – she’s Dutch and they cycle everywhere – whilst Luuk had a stroopwaffle in each eardrum. I am glad to say that it was only a ‘newish look’ SERL team that lined up against Norwich Ice on Saturday evening – the newish faces being Daisy (who shredded her opponent, scored bucketloads and was subbed off out of sympathy for the opponents) and younger sister Rosie (who, rather like Meghan Markle, had her own Prince Charming cheering on from the sidelines – a young man who could have been doing other things on a Saturday evening, like watching Ninja Warrior, fighting goblins in computer games, hanging out with ‘the lads’ or his trigonometry homework – but he travelled up to Norwich to cheer on his beloved from the sidelines……there’s devotion.) We also had a star turn from a certain C West, who is either having problems doing cold turkey after the National League high and couldn’t resist another match or was filling in for others who couldn’t play. I suspect the latter. Punctual as ever, Chris arrived one minute before the game started. A clinical display from the team, then, with Little and Large (Jonny and Luuk) teaming up in attack and Daisy casually scoring lots in a 15-10 victory. It was a late return to the Big Smoke for the team, with Ross going out on the tear in Newmarket to celebrate, frightening all the wee jockeys, and Jonny not getting any sleep till 4 a.m. for all the waffles he scoffed. No word yet from Diana, who was last seen passing through Thetford on the bike.

Drum roll……the big match from the weekend was indeed the last Tigers match of the season. It was an academic one of sorts, with Tigers 1 already looking at the relegation play-offs after a few unexpected results in favour of our direct opponents at the bottom of the table. Lions drew with City 1, City 2 beat Vikings and Phoenix had a significantly better goal difference anyway. The sums had been done. There was nothing to play for but pride and a chance to practise before the relegation play-off match that would be against City 3 some time in May. It was pure T1 apart from the absent exam-loving Nanon and Taxi-Dad Jerram, whose Mysterymobile was gracing the highways and byways of Kent once more. Heaven forbid when Jacob goes to Uni in Holland in Autumn that Jerram isn’t still on taxi duty! Take a leaf out of Diana’s book and get yourself a bike, Jacob! Give your old a man a rest and let him come back to his own alma mater, T1. All the youngsters lined out for T1 against champs C1 last night – the average age was about 8….until you factored in a few steady hands at the tiller to ensure all that energy was directed calmly. Speaking of, Billy had a great match, scoring three, whilst partner in crime Jess tried hard to break the habit of a lifetime and get into the feed position, bless. She certainly tried but her blood iron magnetically repels her from the Korf pole, so she circulated, flung up a few low ones….and scored of course! Tom showed off to his proud parents on the sidelines with a few goals of his own – alas, neither of them were the signature one-handed, keeling-over ‘Clift Shovel Shot’ – © copyright Clift 2018, all rights reserved – that the fans were waiting to see. Important rebounding at key moments from Tom though, alongside Luuuuk down the other end, who also chipped in with twoooo penalties and threeeee goals of his own. It was midway through the second half, with the scores at 11-15, when a quick check of the league tables revealed that actually the sums were wrong and a victory would have kept us safe (whose fault was that?….you only had one job!) Let’s not apportion blame. That serves no purpose. Not that the players knew any of this though – just a few of the war cabinet on the sidelines. That’s when a coach earns his crust, though. A few words in the ear and the pitter patter of Potter feet was all over the court in that final quarter and those shots were going up left right and centre, five of them going in in total, no less! Off came a few grizzled veterans too and on came ‘The Enforcer’ Joseph Rodgers to keep the City threat under wraps at the post or out at the halfway line …… and Becca ‘Stealth Mode’ Bretell, our stingray who ghosts around the court, taking up positions, eyeing, lurking, faintly smiling before dashing in, wrong-footing and then killing her prey….er, scoring. Score she did, the final goal in a thrilling, rather impressive and totally deserved 18-15 victory. Kudos to all, especially our armchair refs on the bench and the All-Seeing Eye on the sidelines, Mr West, whose tactical nous made full use of the talents at T1’s disposal. So we are safe for another season and applications to join T1 may be sent in now. There were mentions on retirement at the end of the match but I saw the glint of adrenaline in Billy and Jess’s eyes as they pulled their shopping wheelies out of the Perse with them. Interesting side note: in Holland they say you should never sit on a Korfball or it will hatch lots of little Korfballs…. And you can get more wise sayings from Luuk next week (Daisy got off the korfball very quickly, incidentally.)

A successful season I think we can safely say – Premier League and Regional League consolidation, Local league Division 1 and 2 status assured for T1 and T2, T3 winning Division 3 and a few acorns (and fast-growing oaks) developing in T4. Now, we still have some indoor training sessions, a pub quiz, end-of-season social, end-of-season play-offs in the Copperbox, Senior Inter Area and a few weeks rest …..and then outdoor training begins. I’m tired after all that and need a lie-down. Here’s what’s coming up:


Wednesday     02/05/2018 1900         Training                              Perse

Wednesday     09/05/2018 1900         Training                              Perse

Saturday         12/05/2018 All day       End-of-season play-offs    Copperbox

Sunday           13/05/2018 All day       End-of-season play-offs    Copperbox

Wednesday     16/05/2018 1900         Training                             Perse

Saturday         19/05/2018 All day       Senior Inter Area               Oxford


Wednesday 06/06/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 13/06/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 20/06/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 27/06/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 28/06/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 04/07/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 11/07/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 18/07/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre

Wednesday 25/07/2018 1930-2100 Outdoor Training    CUP Cass Centre