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Weekly Update – Mon 26 March 2018

The plot thickens. In last week’s exciting episode of Tigers Do The Craziest Things, the NL team snatched a last gasp point at home to fellow strugglers Brum. Could they go one better in the return fixture, keeping them afloat in the big league or would they trip and fall head first into the cream pie? Would yet another ‘new-look’ SERL outfit thaw the visiting beasts from the east, Norwich Ice? Would T2 discover the secret shooting tricks P3 and P2 had in store for them in time and would the new kids of T3 be able to hack it in the school yard against the jocks of C4? Stay tuned to find out…plus….we also have the latest on the case of missing Tiger, Alex Valentine.

But first, the NL team are locked in a relegation tussle with bottom-of-the-table side Bearsted, who are sticking to our tails and scrapping ferociously to pip us at the post and send us down instead. They will be hoping to do this by beating Tigers at the Perse on 15 April, but Tigers were hoping to make that end-of-season match a dead rubber by beating Brum away on Saturday. The significance of the match was not lost on the caravan of hardcore Tiger fanatics, who almost clogged up Spaghetti junction on Saturday morning with their flag-laden, horn-hooting, motorway-jamming convoy. Chief Rubber Duck leading the convoy was Alan Haughan, followed by the van Wollerton tribe, a nervous Mr Lia Matthews, anxious for his other half, Jerram’s mum, dispensing advice and boiled sweets to young Josh, Lord Lucan and many more. They were all there, sweltering in the heat of the Woodcock Sports Centre for Tropical Climate Control. The warm air certainly did wonders for Ross and Keira’s vocal chords as they pumped up the volume and spurred on the team – Keira need only think about sprinting 20 miles to generate body heat, whilst Ross was a human bagpipe ….. all to good effect as a rattled Brum team did an Italia 90/Euro 96/ France 98/Euro 2000/ yawn and missed all their penalties. In contrast, the almost-Germanic precision of the Tigers shooting kept a cushion between the two teams throughout the match. Ever the gentleman, Rory ceded shooting glory to young Josh, who was clearly out to impress his gran, raising the temperature even further by scoring six goals and two penalties (yes, 8.) Lia dedicated her hat-trick to her other half and Daisy’s twitter followers will be delighted with her three. The van Wollerton tribe went home happy with Dutchie’s two (and waffles for all) and world peace will be aided by the goals for Chris and Toby. A 14-19 away victory was an important step in assuring Premier League survival, as well as being good for morale. At last we have some reward for good play (when we always seem to reserve our best play for the top opposition.) This was followed up on Sunday by an away trip to 10-times consecutive champions, Trojans. We did well for a few minutes and the first half was even…but the second half was even worse. Ultimately we lost 33-13 but we should say a special well done to Gracie, who, at 14, made her NL debut. Gracie plans to climb Everest next month and write a book in the Summer. Unfortunately, Bearsted stayed within two points of us with a victory of their own. Next up will be an away trip to Norwich Knights before the big one at home to Bearsted on 15 April. Considered this a summons, everyone. Cancel the six-week cruise, the emergency operation and the funeral.

In other news, a ‘new-look’ experimental SERL team (what a surprise) were looking to set the Perse on fire, melting Norwich Ice into little korf puddles. Thankfully, that didn’t happen as the caretaker would have been furious. Nick and Jess did manage to set to fire alarm off, though, with their three goals apiece. For those of you with longer Korf memories, the name Nick Armitage will conjure up fuzzy, sepia-tinted images of a young man with plenty of hair on an invisible pogo stick circulating around the post, befuddling defenders, dropping off beanpoles, picking up loose rebounds and slotting the ball in with metronomic efficiency. Nick is slowly coming back from a self-imposed, six-year SERL exile, trekking the Himalayas, ruminating on the essence of life and what Korf means to him. The wanderer has returned. Nick collected, intercepted and scored 3. Alongside him, frozen-in-time Jess continues to drink from the font of youth, smashing in another three of those long shot skimmers. I don’t know how she does it. The ball should drop vertically into the basket, not horizontally. As for Jess’s daughters, the Little Women of the Llewelyn household still can’t catch their mother and are longing for the day she retires. We say ‘Four More Years!’ So, those two were on fire, but just as we were coming back into the match, the fire alarm did actually go off and we had to vacate. Once we came back, that metaphorical fire of ours was doused and Ice reasserted themselves. JP did well, shutting down their danger man and Hana and Rosie were strong too. We had all shapes and sizes lining up in this carnival match actually, with TGV Northfield back in the thick of things against another wee acrobat (plenty of bouncing and weaving, with more dummies being thrown than in a crèche.) Also fun was the sight of our tallest (and newest) player, Luuk Bolander, being matched up against someone even taller than him. ‘Cool Hand Luuk’ prevailed against his giant, many-limbed shadow, though, scoring a couple in his first match. Start as you mean to go on, Luuk! SERL lost that one but it’s all good practice.

There were other debutantes this weekend too. Adrian Haines busted a gut for T3 (and a few blood vessels) in his first Tigers and Korfball outing for some time. Adrian was a bit worried about this one, whether or not he would still be able to cut the mustard, after last playing Korf a while back in Farnborough. Alas, T3 lost to C4 with a penalty in the last minute and Adrian is probably still trying to get out of his car at home, his leg muscles having seized up (the RAC is on the way, Adrian.) We were a man down for half the match, though, until who should walk into the hall and into Zoe’s beseeching arms, but a very alarmed (but ever-eager) Sam Oldham. It’s a while since we have focused on the Pocket Rocket (so many others have been hogging the limelight.) Sam was there mainly for the T2-P2 match afterwards, in which he did brilliantly, defending against one of the Terrywall Twins and sinking 3 of his own. Unfortunately, there’s two Terrywalls on that team, plus a few beanpoles, and they all had their shooting hands on. Clarkeologists note that Steve did a good job against his tall boy and got a goal. There were also goals for Mateja, Jonny, Molly and Joseph. P2 were just more accurate with their shooting. T2 are a bit tired of Phoenix now, having also played P3 on Thursday night, losing by the odd goal when of course it was easier to win. Steve had his now monthly battle against Mark Wassell (draw….again,) Joe Moore was ‘The Mummy’ with all the bandages around his knees. Apparently he had a ‘tweak’ but after watching him triple jump his way around CRC, I would say that was not the case. Boy he can cover some ground. No big deal about the result though – both teams are settled into mid-table obscurity and not threatened by any relegation worries.

And finally…..what of T2 captain, ‘Mr A14’ and the Huntingdon Ambassador to Cambridge, Alex Valentine, I hear you ask? Many of you will be wondering just where Alex has been this last few months. Whilst we still have plenty of happy faces at training, the smile wattage has slightly dimmed for Alex’s absence. Well, he is certainly alive, I can tell you, setting up all the T2 matches, getting teams together and keeping in touch with the committee all the while in the background. He is actually training for the London Marathon, coming up in four weeks (indeed you may have seen reports on the news of major tailbacks on the A14 back down the M11 due to ‘grinning, orange-clad pedestrians running on the road.’) Alex is ostensibly jogging for charity but his ulterior motive for doing this is never to get stuck on the A14 again; he can simply jog home. Anyway, here’s his story if you fancy a look and donating and we wish him all the best in his efforts (to stay off the beer) https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-display/showROFundraiserPage?userUrl=alex-valentine-SAVMLMBONDS3332018-820124&pageUrl=1

Reminder to everyone that the Perse is closed Easter week so there is no training on Wed 04 April. The L1-T1 match has been re-scheduled to 13 April and still to officially confirm the re-scheduled Ice-Tigers SERL away match for 07 April.

 

Sat, 07-Apr-2018 tbc NICE v TIG2 UEA Sportspark
Sun, 08-Apr-2018 1200 NKTS v TIG1 UEA Sportspark
Sun, 08-Apr-2018 1330 NKTS2 v TIG2 UEA Sportspark
Sun, 08-Apr-2018 1600 C3 v T2 Hills Road Sixth Form College
Fri, 13-Apr-2018 2020 L1 v T1 Littleport Sports Centre
Sun, 15-Apr-2018 1245 TIG2 v BEAR2 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 15-Apr-2018 1415 TIG1 v BEAR Perse School for Boys
Sun, 15-Apr-2018 1900 T3 v C5 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 22-Apr-2018 1730 V3 v T4 Ely Community College
Sun, 22-Apr-2018 1800 C2 v T1 Impington Village College
Sun, 29-Apr-2018 1900 T1 v C1 Perse School for Boys