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Weekly Update – Mon 05 Feb 2018

Bird-spotter alert! Some Kingfishers were seen at the Perse in Cambridge on Sunday. Now, if the bird-spotters among you are cursing your decision to spend the day eating Kit-Kats in a cramped hut on Wicken fen looking at ducks, fear not. These Kingfishers flew in from the breeding grounds of er, Maidstone, and were not birds (though their swift movement, coordinated attacking and occasional tweeting from the sidelines was not dissimilar to that of their winged namesakes.) Unlike the uniformly proportioned Tigers teams (i.e. small) the NL and SERL opponents at the weekend came in all shapes and sizes (and indeed, ages.) They had boys as tall as six foot four inch trees. There were girl trees too, some willowy and some sturdy oaks. No saplings though…and all very quick and very clever Korfers…and lots of them – two separate teams of eight.

So it was tough going. First up was the Regional League team up against a team wily old pro’s, flaunting the ball with one hand and forcing us to run lots. What can you say about Chris Rhodes? Some players play as if they are wearing a newly-pressed wedding suit that they want to keep absolutely free of sweat, playing defence with the energy of an elderly house cat. Not Rhodesy. He’s a hydrologist by profession and the sweat he generated will probably form part of his next flood management project. Talking of sweat, Tigers 1’s very own Adonis, Jerram was also adding to the flood plain. That man just doesn’t stop and you can easily see why his wife was swooning over him on the sidelines (Julie says she’s there to support her son but she doesn’t fool us.) He’s not Adonis. He’s THE-Donis. Let’s hope he dried up before assuming cameraman duties for the National League match afterwards. Some lovely running yet again from Danger Girl Daisy and sure fire shooting from The Smiling (occasionally Grimacing) Assassin Maddy. Gracie was finding space at will (useful on a packed commuter train or in a long queue,) whilst a post- Anklegate Alex was once again able to get those thick orange socks on and that hand firmly up in the air. Their defence was at times tight as a shadow and their attack slick, preferring to move away from the halfway line and get quick attacks going. A few subs in the second half in preparation for the NL match saw Oscar and Toby sink a few and Chris banish those germs for good (last week’s unfortunate illness hopefully a thing of the past.) The match ended 14-22 but there are more new Regional league players in the pipeline and these matches are a useful exercise for the club. Plenty of good stuff on display and plenty of promise. After this season a Tigers korfballer with an inferiority complex should be one that thinks they are as good as everyone else.

After that we had the main course – the National League match. I’ll save you the suspense by telling you that Kingfishers won 28-11 and it’s in large part due to the same reasons why Tigers haven’t hit 25 goals in a match yet this season – shooting accuracy….which is pretty much the reason why the top 5 are the top 5. Having some frightfully quick girls and big boys helps too….. but they used them well and we can’t complain. There are a few extra things to mention: after last season’s 7-goal-a-game exploits, Josh has been ticking along consistently with 3 or 4 this season…but yesterday he hit five. Watching this young man take a penalty is no different to watching the best of them. Josh looks at the ball. The ball looks at Josh. The ball goes in the korf. Josh will hopefully soon be walking on water for us. Ditto for Chris and his three scores. Poor old Lia and Liv though – they just couldn’t get a call against those pushy, shovey, speedy girls. No amount of remonstrating (even nice and all Cambridge-y) could sway the ref to their cause. It was a tough old game for the girls in general who weren’t getting any change out of their opponents. Except for Daisy. Don’t let the name fool you. She’s an uprootin’, fast-movin’ carnivorous plant, scuttling past you if you let your guard down and before you know it, she’s eaten you – (I think it’s due to her Sunday morning lie-ins but her mother may disagree.) Call me a stat nerd but in the second quarter of this match, Tigers were on top and actually won 3-2. It’s just that the toothpaste squirted out of the tube big time in the first fifteen minutes and we couldn’t get it back in after that, falling behind 12-2 early on. Of course we should also mention the return of a long lost son to his spiritual home. Welcome back to the low-lying, side-stepping, space-creating, shot-making Crouching Toby Hidden Dragon. Toby Clarke came home after a few years in the wilderness and Tigers are already like a plant that has been watered. For those of you who don’t know Toby… will. He is one carrot at the end of a long stick. There are other absent and injured carrots getting closer and closer to returning to play as each week goes by and we look forward to that. We love our carrots. It may be tough at the moment but don’t forget that a kick on the backside is only a foot away from a clap on the back and in the dust of defeat there is still glory to be found. Like the famous ‘Laker Girl’ cheerleaders in basketball, the ‘Tiger Girls’ Cheerleaders (led by Rob somehow,) have come up with a clever way of alerting our defenders to the imminent threats against them. Simply shout the defenders name repeatedly till the threat is gone. Subsitute ‘Alan’ for ‘Jen’ in this clip and you will see what I mean.

Which takes us to the final match of the weekend – the local league encounter between a depleted Tigers 1 and a full-strength Vikings 1. T1 weren’t just the underdogs in this one. They were the underpuppies. Quite literally actually as it was a team of young, upcoming talent. And Billy. I hasten to add here that Billy is one of the Grande Dames of the club – a fit and healthy woman who never ages and puts us all to shame. With various boys not available – knackered from SERL, playing roller hockey or not allowed out to play with a bad cough – the young apprentices were required to take the helm. When the opportunity arises in Tigers 1 we pay it forward. Arise Sir Joseph, Son of Peter. Your deeds were noted and the scribes have detailed your achievements. And with you, your sister Lady Molly, Daughter of Peter (again – who is this Great Peter whence springs these two Korfballing forces and why doesn’t he play himself?) Molly of course had already made her T1 bow but put in another shift last night and will no doubt benefit in the weeks to come. Vikings won it 12-6 and they were out in force with their big names, sinking their shots whilst we just needed a little more confidence in taking ours. And why wouldn’t you take more shots with Rebound Monster Tom Clift on the court, nonchalantly collecting and backhand bounce-passing the ball to an on-rushing Hana for dream runners. Show-offs the pair of them, which is why we love them. And how could you not stop running with the likes of Jonny buzzing like a wasp at the Orchard? And with shooting experts sinking long range efforts when they presented themselves, our attacking threat will never be Nanonymous (there’s a clever play on words right there.) I am told that the girls were flinging delightful passes around the place, whilst Chris Rhodes, he of the SERL match earlier in the day, came back to try and contain Vikings major danger man…and did an ok job too, putting off Chris Brown with his smelly armpits (joke.) T1 will win a few more upcoming matches – of that I have no doubt – as the experienced players will be back in action very soon and our young bloods will that much better for these experiences.


Fri, 16-Feb-2018 2020 L1 v T1 Littleport Sports Centre
Sat, 17-Feb-2018 1215 TIG2 v HAR Perse School for Boys
Sun, 18-Feb-2018 1245 TIG2 v KV2 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 18-Feb-2018 1415 TIG1 v KV Perse School for Boys
Sun, 18-Feb-2018 1600 C5 v T4 Hills Road Sixth Form College
Wed, 21-Feb-2018 2100 U2 v T2 Cambridge University Sports Centre
Sun, 25-Feb-2018 900 U-14s v Royals Cambridge Regional College
Sun, 25-Feb-2018 1000 BEC v TIG1 Whitgift School
Sun, 25-Feb-2018 1200 U-14s v City Cambridge Regional College
Sun, 25-Feb-2018 1440 NCITY v TIG2 UEA Sportspark
Sun, 25-Feb-2018 1900 T4 v T3 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 04-Mar-2018 1900 T4 v C4 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 04-Mar-2018 1700 NICE v TIG2 UEA Sportspark
Thu, 08-Mar-2018 2025 P1 v T1 Cambridge Regional College