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Weekly Update 18 Dec 2017

Dear Santa,

Give us a few more points, big man! Go on. A few more ice packs, unctions, replacement ankles, repaired cruciate ligaments and a run of good luck would also help.

Our National League team currently sits down the EKL Premier League at the bottom, level on points with a few other teams, ever so sssslightly behind on goal difference. Haven’t had much luck of late – and so it proved again on Sunday when several generations of Norwich Knights paid us a pre-Christmas National and Regional league visit. Ate us out of house and home, they did – ransacking the cupboards for 35 goals in the NL game. They had 4 lords-a-leapin’ and plenty of maidens dancing all over the court, the girls especially scoring in many of their attacks, whilst the lords were hopping and skipping and prancing and flinging the ball this way and that. To be honest, Tigers’ 8-goal return belies the many opportunities that were created. There were many shots that were narrowly missed – so put some shooting medicine in our stockings too please. There were a lot of new pairings in the team, so give us some of that player gel too – fast-acting bonding stuff so we can better coordinate our moves.

The regional league team also wants some of that gel but with this being the first season with two teams in the top two tiers, we’ll simply settle for a bit more experience, maturity and aggression in the breakdown (plus Monopoly and a few bottles of Baileys for some of us.) Our selection box of a line-up – a little changed from previous games (surprise, surprise) – improved on last week’s showing. Once more though, the younger Knights ran riot, trampling on the lawn, wrecking the mother’s rose beds, scaring us with their clever skills and fancy shooting (too much sugar clearly.) The 9-24 scoreline is probably a tad harsh given the balance of play. So, can you bring us some throat lozenges (so that we may call in defence better) and some of that fast-acting player gel. And WD-40 for those creaking joints.

Now, we don’t want to appear selfish and so we should thank you at this point for two lovely presents you have given us before the big day. We are delighted to have received Rob from Bearsted and Lia from Trojans. They fit right in and really do glow in orange. They’re also fine players, which showed on Sunday. I am sure they will help us collect a few more points in some key games in January and February to help the club consolidate its position in the top tier. We should also point out here that Tigers have played against most of the favourites already this season, so there is still a long way to go and very winnable games coming up in early 2018.

As for our Christmas wish-list, well if your elves can cobble together a clone of Joe Moore we’ll take it. Our new boy has played a few development games for T4 this season and is already in the running for the top scorer Ballon D’Or prize this season. The Man With The Golden Hand scored 4, putting even Gracie and Sarah in the shade for once. T4 ran riot actually, scoring 19 against V3. You don’t need to bring them anything else for Christmas. Chris and Nick don’t want to spoil them anyway. T2 on the other hand could do with some bulletproof trainers because they keep shooting themselves in the foot. They snatched defeat from the jaws of victory against C3 last night. Goldenboy Joe Moore was pumped after his 4-goal salvo in the first match (better than graduating from Cambridge, he said) and played for T2 afterwards. Indeed, half of T4 played in this match too and were leading for most of the match until a few late goals for the opposition swung it their way. Jenny is already crossing off the days till the rematch and the day of reckoning. Santa – one cold dish of revenge please and she will serve it up. Not till April, though. Best put it in the freezer or it’ll stink.

No training till Wed 3 Jan and then the games come thick and fast. Some crucial fixtures coming up the first weekend back, so lay off the mince pies. Give ‘em all to Santa as he’s bringing us so many presents.

Sun, 07-Jan-2018 1220 KV v TIG1 Kings Sports Centre
Sun, 07-Jan-2018 1350 KV2 v TIG2 Kings Sports Centre
Sun, 07-Jan-2018 1900 T1 v C2 Perse School for Boys
Fri, 12-Jan-2018 2020 L2 v T2 Littleport Sports Centre
Sun, 14-Jan-2018 900 U-14s v Dragons Cambridge Regional College
Sun, 14-Jan-2018 1100 U-14s v City Cambridge Regional College
Sun, 14-Jan-2018 1245 TIG2 v TORN2 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 14-Jan-2018 1415 TIG1 v TORN Perse School for Boys
Sun, 14-Jan-2018 1800 C5 v T3 Impington Village College
Wed, 17-Jan-2018 2100 U1 v T1 Cambridge University Sports Centre
Sun, 21-Jan-2018 2000 T2 v U2 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 28-Jan-2018 1415 TIG1 v NOM Perse School for Boys
Sun, 28-Jan-2018 1800 C1 v T1 Impington Village College
Sun, 28-Jan-2018 1900 T3 v V3 Perse School for Boys
Sun, 28-Jan-2018 2000 T2 v V2 Perse School for Boys