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29 Oct 18 – Missing shots and missing shorts

Away they go! The National League is up and running this season and a rather new-look, experimental Tigers team took to the hallowed boards of the Perse on Sunday to see how they got on against similarly matched opponents Birmingham City. People still gather around water coolers to reminisce about the nail-chomping drama of last season’s 14-14 encounter against the same opponents, discussing where they were when Lia sank that last-second free pass equalizer. They were no doubt looking forward to seeing a few new Tigers in action this season too – in particular a couple of young, swaggering bucks by the name of Brooks and Hall, who turned out to know their way around the court and be quite handy under the post too, popping in quite a few goals and looking dapper in their lovely new orange shirts (much better than their previous drab yellow and blue kits, in this fan’s opinion.) There were a few notable absences from the Tigers line-up though – namely our dearly departing Jenny (who is not dying, you will be relieved to hear, but is moving to Nottingham.……insert jokes here) and injured young Skywalker Josh Dawes, who had to be padlocked and duct-taped to stop him hobbling on. Now, every ‘grande occasion’ requires a ‘grande dame’ or two, with Viscountess Wollerton of Duxford and Lady Harcourt of Swavesey dismissing opponents with the confidence that their korfing station decrees (and fanning themselves heavily at the end of the match.) They scored too (as is their wont,) as did Daisy. There was lots of endeavour and basket-rattling from Teacher-of-the-Year Lia and Wannabe-Teacher-of-the-Year Toby and lots of pumpin’ and bumpin’ from Jumpin’ James Northfield. Good to have him back, leaping around and being annoying. Alas, alas, alas, though, we were to be disappointed in the end as Brum eked out a narrow 13-15 victory, thanks mainly to more accurate shooting. These things are a work in progress and the parts need time to all fit into place. Coming together is a beginning; working together is success, as they say…and success there should be with subs like the disgracefully talented Gracie Lewis and Bedford Boy Frank Dunn (don’t have a nickname for him yet, but he lives in Bedford, so that’s a start.) The return fixture will be a different story, I am sure.

 

The SERL match after that was against perennial promotion-chasers Norwich City, who are not in the promotion hunt this year but still have lots of experience. It finished 18-21 to the visitors but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is that a Messiah returned to active korfing duty. Having bathed his knee in the water of the Ganges, recited injury incantations with Tibetan monks and sprinkled holy water from Lourdes on his precious patella, Tom Coslett rushed straight from the Vatican to the Perse to play his first competitive game in over a year, captaining the SERL team and putting in a solid 4-goal performance. He was aided by one or two other early check-outs from A&E: Keira shook off her sprained ankle (which was probably broken, but just a scratch to her) as did new boy Jamie Smith. Having taken last year off to meditate on all things Korf, Jamie has joined Tigers this season via Ely and Trojans. We will be seeing him a few times in NL games I should imagine. 15-year-old ‘veterans’ Gracie and Rosie put in solid showings once more, but were joined by wise old head on young debutante shoulders Molly Rodgers. She is still 14. How about that! And scored two lovely runners! As the goals went in, Gracie and Rosie wistfully sighed and remembered their first SERL runners. Let’s not forget our weekly shout out to Rob Haggart for his four goals and, well, he likes getting a shout out on the updates. It also seems that the West washing machine is in permanent action judging by the number of C West shirts that were to be seen around the Perse on Sunday. I don’t think there is a club shop selling them or anything like that, but you never know. Chris has a big Twitter following in Asia.

On Sunday evening T2 played a young, fast and agile City 5 development team, so the match was already ‘won’ by T2 but still we were treated to a few nice goals from the Roadrunner Sarah Roberts, a lovely long shot from Cool Hand Luuk, a rebounding masterclass from Sprouting Tree Ollie Francis and already a T2 outing for young Luka Teleki. Him again! Where did he come from? I go away on holiday and come back to find pretenders queueing up for my T2 throne. Very nice of you to keep my seat warm, young sir. New girls Rachel and Betsy have seamlessly clicked into gear and had all pistons firing down their end from the start, but never mind all that. We had a case of missing shorts involving one S Clarke to report on. Steve somehow forgot his shorts for his T2 substitute appearance. Steve’s kind offer to play in his pants was turned down by Coach Chris Rhodes as it was before the 9 pm watershed. Charitable coach Rhodesy donated his own shorts to Steve, relinquishing his own dignity (and health) in a pair of tightly-fitting ten-year-old’s trackie bottoms. Chris then walked very carefully along the sidelines for the first half of that match, the calls of ‘Tight!Tight!Tight’ taking on an increasingly poignant new meaning with each attack. Jess eventually came to the rescue with some big boy shorts and Steve was able to sub on for Luka at half time. The fire brigade finally managed to cut Chris loose from the jogging pants late last night and we know what Steve is getting for Christmas this year.

 

In the T3-T4 match afterwards, Steve, playing with the freedom of the big boy shorts, was giving no ground to young Max (another pretender to the T2 throne.) There may have been a hint of a foul or two not given, but this young Max fellow, he can hold his own and knows how to get into the feed position. We had another Clash of the Titans in this match, with Nick Goliath Francis marking mere mortal Nick Armitage and his trustee sling. These two strutting peacocks were circling each other all evening, vying for the favour of the post. It was most entertaining, with the lesser experienced man daring to pop one in down one end, only to suffer the fate of many before him, switching off momentarily and allowing his nemesis to ignominiously score right down the other end. It was indeed a family affair on T4, with Ella ably supporting her dad, and Rosie chipping in to help her younger sister Martha deal with the latin flair of Laura – always a tricky opponent and mean shot. T4 ultimately could not deal with the jiggery pokery and wiley ways of T3 – Jenny and Adrian setting it all up for Sam and Sarah to be tricky and merciless…as usual. T3 won 10-6 and are up and running.

 

Lots more games coming up, including away visits to KV and Uni 2 playing two matches in succession at the Perse.

04/11/2018 PREM KV vs TIG Kings Sports Centre 1320
04/11/2018 SERL KV2 vs TIG2 Kings Sports Centre 1445
04/11/2018 2 T2 vs U2 Perse School for Boys 1900
04/11/2018 2 T3 vs U2 Perse School for Boys 2000
08/11/2018 2 P3 vs T3 Cambridge Regional College 2115
11/11/2018 1 T1 vs V1 Perse School for Boys 1900
11/11/2018 2 T4 vs V2 Perse School for Boys 2000
16/11/2018 1 L1 vs T1 Littleport Sports Centre 2020
16/11/2018 2 L2 vs T2 Littleport Sports Centre 2130
18/11/2018 U14 Tigers U14 vs Vikings U14 Cambridge Regional College 900
18/11/2018 U14 Tigers U14 vs Phoenix U14 Cambridge Regional College 1100
18/11/2018 PREM TIG vs BRIS Perse School for Boys 1245
18/11/2018 SERL TIG2 vs HAR Perse School for Boys 1415
23/11/2018 2 L2 vs T4 Littleport Sports Centre 2020
25/11/2018 PREM TIG vs NOM Perse School for Boys 1245
25/11/2018 SERL TIG2 vs BEAR2 Perse School for Boys 1415
25/11/2018 2 T4 vs V3 Perse School for Boys 1900
25/11/2018 2 T2 vs V2 Perse School for Boys 2000