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26 March 2019: Texit?

And so it drags on, the strategic debates, korfing discussions, meaningful votes on how best to get to Kent, Epsom, Ely…the end game extending a little further into April and May. There is no recess in sight yet for our Korfing representatives. Many of them face key decisions in the coming weeks – confrontations that must be had, Korfing debates to be played out, amendments and compromises, ‘forcing the whip’ on the attack, amendments to tactical decisions, amendments to those amendments and impassioned speeches at important moments. That’s what the korfing season is coming down to for our NL team – a fight to avoid ‘Texit.’


After tabling a last-minute amendment to the proposed venue, the NL team didn’t lose their bearings but they did lose the match 24-32 away to Nomads. You can argue with the arrangements but you can’t argue when the opposition have their shooting hands on. We just needed to outscore them but didn’t have the numbers in the end. That was then followed up by a good showing at home to the Trojans juggernaut, going down 18-33. Poor old Gracie got flattened by a giant falling Trojan – squashed like a roadrunner under an anvil. Bruised and winded yes, but be it a goal or a steam-rolling Gracie shrugs and carries on regardless. Despite this fortitude, despite the many goals of Handy Andy Hall and ten minutes of jiggery-Pottery (a run-out in the second half for the young wizard,) the inevitable defeat still leaves the NL team locked in a three-way battle royale with Birmingham and Bristol to stay up (what’s Brexit short for again? Hmmmm.)


SERL have had a slightly more relaxed time of it, having only to travel once to Kent to have a wee run-out against Bearsted 2, going down 19-14 but giving caps to Mighty Sapling Ollie and Mad-for-the-korf Martha. If they’re good enough, they’re old enough, I say. The two young whippersnappers were almost reminisced to death with tales of Korfing lore from Jonny ‘Back in the war’ Potter, Joseph ‘Not like it was in my day’ Rodgers and Rosie ‘fetch my cocoa’ Llewellyn. A nice looping one handed score I hear from young Potter, waffles galore from Luuk and stiff joints from Jess.


T1 scored an impressive away win on Sunday to Vikings 1. A 6-6 half time score quickly moved on to 10-14 in Tigers favour in the second half. Much of this hinged on a half time tactical switch. Jerram ‘Torn between two lovers’ Dawes kept Luuk so busy in the rebound that Jerram needed to be ‘Clifted’ (i.e. marked by Tom Clift) in the second half (for the record, Jerrams’ two ‘lovers’ in question are Tigers and Vikings korfball clubs, his wife and two sons will be relieved to hear.) Good work from that fellow again Jonny, holding danger man Chris Brown to 2 and scoring a few of his own. T1 are still clinging onto the coat-tails of City 1 in the race for the title but there is no backstop in place there, I’m afraid. Any more slip-ups and the title is City’s.


T2 – with the help of Sarah and everyone’s favourite non-status stand-in Luuk, who scored six apiece – won 20-4 against Vikings 2 (back to T1 with you now, Mr Popular – I’ve got this under control.) They were all on the score sheet actually and that’s promotion sorted. T4 aren’t too far back in the hunt for promotion too, you know – especially after beating Lions 15-6. You-know-who bagged himself another six cause, well, the sweets were there, the jar was open and well, you know how it is…you gorge. Never mind all that, T4 has a new scoring hero – ‘EwanMan.’ He scored five more – by the power of Greyskull, I believe, complemented by a hat-trick from Cambridgeshire’s only Colombian Korfballer, Laura and cult hero Luka (the ‘L-Dog’ to the aficionados.)

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